The Keys to Grilled Cheeses

You think that before this moment you have had a grilled cheese. You are wrong.

Bread
Butter or butter spread
Different kinds of cheeses

You could also use:
a gas stove
some sweet potatoes or yams

Ok, listen vegans, you can use these same techniques with some of the nicer-melting rice cheeses. I have had GREAT luck with them on pizzas, and I do not doubt for a second that the following grilled cheese method will ensure that they have time to melt in a sammy. You already know about the miracle that is Earth Balance.

Patience. This sandwich is all about patience. And the butter.

Is your butter spreadable? Yes - good. No - get it there.

Take two slices of bread. Butter one side of each slice, so that they match as a sandwich set with the butter on the outsides of the sandwich. Spread the butter very thoroughly but kind of sparsely. Set aside.

Slice up some cheeses. Have more and bigger slices of your base cheese. Monterrey Jack and cheddar make nice bases, but use whatever you prefer. Cut enough of this cheese to cover about half a slice of bread. Cut it almost as thinly as you can with a knife without veering off the end of the brick. Too thick, and it won't melt perfectly.

To make this the ultimate grilled cheese recipe, you really need as many different kinds of cheese as your palate can discern in one sandwich. After you have the base cheese(s) cut, cut much smaller pieces of the other cheeses. You can sprinkle, slice or shred them on top of the base cheese(s) as is appropriate. If you buy deli-slices cheese you can make it a couple slices thick for sure.

With the stove OFF, set the bread in your pan with the butter-side down. Arrange the cheeses in a palatable and aesthetic way on the unbuttered side of the bread. Leave it open-faced; don't put the second slice on top yet. Don't put any spare butter or oil in the pan.

Turn the stove on to LOW. Yes, low. Give it a few min to toast the bottom slice of bread before you even think about checking it. You know how long the toaster seems to take? Well, wait that long before you are even tempted to put the other slice of bread on. It is currently open-faced so that you can use the cheeses' meltiness as a flipping guide. If the cheeses aren't warm before you put on the second piece of bread, the cheeses won't get perfectly melty.

When the bottom slice of bread is, roughly speaking, toasted and the base cheese is slightly tacky to the bread, add the second slice of bread with the butter on the outside. The top slice of bread is not now warm, so you can place your fingers on it while you put the spatula under the bottom slice. This will aid your flippage, prevent slippage and all the while not burning your dirty little fingers.

Allow the second slice of bread to toast. If you flipped it a little too early and want the first piece toasted more, or if you just need to check the second piece's toastiness level, flipper it around a few more times. The flipping is easier once the cheese begins to act as a mild adhesive.

When both sides are toasty, eat it.

If you want the above sandwich to be the penultimate grilled cheese sandwich recipe, have some thinly sliced and pre-baked yam on hand. There is nothing quite as tasty as Monterrey Jack and yams together between some carbs. Maybe even with some green onions too. Or some seasonings. Craving garlic? Don't be afraid to season your grilled cheese! Or to eat it with cold cuke slices. Or cold red pepper slices. Or warm tomato bisque soup with some brown rice and chopped up pieces of baked tofu in there. Imagine what asparagus would be like!

Go look up penultimate.

Cheesy Rice will make your life better

You always make too much rice. It's better than making too little.

Your leftover rice
Some oil
Some cheese
Some milk
Your leftover veggies

Hey. I love cheese-less stuff too. So, if you are vegan or otherwise sensitive or violently allergic, either don't put the cheese in or use the rice cheese that melts pretty well. Substitute, substitute, substitute. Sub your toot if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?

Get out an appropriate size pot for how much rice you have left over. Drip some oil in the bottom, so that the gooey leftover rice doesn't stick while it's warming up. No, don't do this in the microwave. Inappropriately gooier.

Put the rice into the pot first. Quickly followed by the chopped up bits of your vegetable or otherwise leftovers. Let them warm up together. This is not a liquid, you will have to stir them as they warm up. You will also have to add some liquid in the early warming stages to keep it tender instead of scorching.

Add a few splashes of milk (soy milk, rice milk, etc). Stir. Warm. Sniff. It is cozy and comforting. Warming rice? Delicious.

When the rice is warm enough to melt things, and almost warm enough to eat - add your cheese varieties. Shredded will melt best, but small little pieces will be ok too if you have more patience for stirring. Mix the cheese varieties in according to the ratio of taste you enjoy. A base cheese like jack, cheddar or provolone? Strong hints of Parmesan or muenster? Fancier pants? None at all? You are sticking with Earth Balance? Great. Stir while melting. There should be enough liquid in there to keep it from become some gross, giant, cheese ball. Add more if you need to. Porridgey will probably be more satisfying than thick like a clot or soupy like a soup.

Now isn't that warm, lovely, comforting and way better than gristley meat hash?