Irish Cake Bombs

Bake something with beer. Your other option is Jell-O shots.

3/4 cup soy milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
generous 1/4 cup dark beer, Irish Stout, black gold.
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
generous 1 tspn vanilla
generous 1 cup flour
1/3 cup coco powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 pinch salt

Also:
some Bailey's Irish Cream liquor
some heavy whipping cream
some powdered sugar
tasteful number of drops of green food coloring
green sprinkles

These cupcakes are vegan without the frosting. Ask your vegan pals which dark beers they're willing to eat in cupcake form. This will not only allow you to judge their vegan persnicketyness on a scale, but also teach you about vegan beers for future conversational use.

Preheat the oven to 350, standard baking temperature. Know your oven.

Whisk the vinegar and the soymilk together. After that, add all other wet ingredients and whisk again. Frothy. When deciding how much beer to add to this recipe, take all things into account. Who's really just in this for the chocolate? Who's afraid of extra liquid in the recipe? How much can you reasonably expect cupcakes to taste just like beer?

Add your sugar. Ask for another lecture on vegan sugar. Informative and handy for impressing the ladies of every gender.

Sift in the dry ingredients. Just do it. Thrift for an old, rusted, dead grandma sifter. Buy one online. A nice, easy to rinse instead of wash one. Nobody wants to taste your cornbread if you don't get rid of those bitter lumps.

Beat the whole mixture with an electric beater for a couple of min until fluffy and you are satisfied with the taste of the batter. Would chocolate chips be good in there? They might. get heavy handed with the coco powder or vanilla if you feel like it. They're your cakes. You're the one being judged.

Pour the batter into your cupcake pans. If you made the batter extra liquidy, make the cakes smaller and check them (not too early! but) a little bit earlier than the full cooking time. Drippy batters don't dome as well, and can't get as big. Little cups of dense, chocolaty beer wouldn't be so bad, would they now?

If your cupcake pan isn't clean, you could try other shapes - square brownie pan, a loaf of quick beer bread style, a circle of perfect, unending beer cake.

Bake 20 or 22 min.

Let them cool a long time before you put the frosting on or don't wait and let it slide off so that your friends with all their germy fingers are licking at your plate edges. Your pick.

Slosh a satisfying amount of heavy whipping cream into a bowl. Whip it. Yes, good. Add not too much powdered sugar, whip again. Sing it until somebody notices. Add less Bailey's than you did whipping cream, but enough that everybody will taste it. The less you add, the thicker your frosting is going to be, which is never very thick with whipping cream, but oh so luscious. Add just a smidge of green food coloring to be enticingly wallflowery or a bunch to be brutish with your beer cakes. A nice touch would be to be that person who has green sprinkles on hand. The crystallized sugar kind to be dainty fresh or the matte, pure sugar kind to embolden your substantial, almost German, not Irish offerings. Plop or spread the frosting on in your own manner. Cultivate your cupcake voice.

Not all Irish are drunks.